She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
