Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize