I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
