The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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