I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
