Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
