ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm like, not good at living.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
