It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
