i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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