Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
