Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I stole a fireplace last night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
