The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
