5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize