after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
