hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
