my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
