$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
