I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
