I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
