you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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