Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
