I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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