It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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