why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
