I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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