No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
