carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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