I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
