so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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