We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
