I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
