Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
