oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
