Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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