It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
