Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
