the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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