You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
