I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
