everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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