just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
