This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
