He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
