The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
