you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
