ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
