I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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