she was so not down for the gang bang
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
