Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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