That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
