Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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