thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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