Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sext me about skeletons
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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