at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
