So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
