Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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