so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
