speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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