OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
sex in a hospital.. check
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
