What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
