I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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