I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
