how can u be prego again
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
