butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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