Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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