I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
