I think scott just propositioned me for sex
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
