So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm both gender and math confused
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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