Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
