evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
