after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
