Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
