She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A bitchslap is in order.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
