Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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