Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
