if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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