I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
home. puking in laundry basket.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
