i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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