Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
