ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
